First off, people, people, please, I did not start this blog to have every point of my life criticized. I did say I would blog about every day. I am keeping to that promise. There are a few things I must change about this though. If you do not hear from me everyday, know I will make up for it. I am committed to finding myself. Originally I decided I would do this alone because my heart was ripped out and taken away. But that person and I are now talking again and he gave me my heart back. As much as I have tried to get over it without him, I haven't. I will simply do this with him. So now there are only a few rules I can stick to since my love is back. No looking at bridal magazines and No looking at wedding rings. I will add a few rules to make up for my stealing of rules. Such as:
Don't be alone in a dark room with any males.
No rushing into things.
Don't be physically intimate. (Ew)
Don't be clingy.
No getting engaged until I am 20. :)
So yes, I am in a relationship with someone I love. He makes me happy. If you have a problem with me being happy then I am sorry but please leave me alone. I am still 100% committed to finding out who I am and loving myself. I have already learned in these past few weeks to love myself and it feels wonderful.
Yesterday I almost lost my best friend over what was happening. Mr. Wonderful and I started talking again and Theresa got upset. She was afraid that I was going to get hurt again. She was afraid that I would trust too soon. We got upset at each other in the middle of WalMart and I slapped her and she punched me. She almost stabbed me with a colored pencil too but she knew it would've killed me. I deserved it. So there we sat in the middle of the pasta isle crying our eyes out like little girls do and it was an emotional roller coaster for both of us. We expressed our feelings and talked it over. I know she cares about me. I learned that I am lucky to have such a forgiving and loving, caring best friend like Theresa. I would never trade anything in the world for a moment that I spend with her. She is cooler than sliced bread. She is hotter than the sun and I love her to pieces. We are going to live next door to each other one day.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Ooooops
As you may have noticed, it has been quite a number of days since I have last blogged. Things have been very hectic in my life and I have barely taken the time to sit down and eat. A lot has changed. So let me update you.
Last Wednesday we were supposed to have a house showing. The people never showed up. I learned that day that I was hopeful. Even though they didn't show up I still was hopeful that someone would buy the house very soon.
Last Thursday was my friend Kyle's birthday. I don't really remember doing much that day except attempted to pack. I am forgetful. I forgot pretty much everything about that day. I didn't celebrate or anything special I just forgot.
Last Friday I spontaneously hung out with some of my friends at a pool party. I believe I made one of my friend's girlfriend very upset at me. Sometimes I can be overbearing.
Saturday was cool. I woke up with several dreams. I had a dream that I was walking by a cactus and it got scared of me so it shot all it spikes into my foot. I think my subconscious is confusing cacti with porcupine. I also had a dream that I met a family a water park that lost their son. I was determined to find him so I stayed there all night and found him the next day. I also had a dream that part of my body was mutilated and dangling in places it shouldn't have been. It was bizarre and disturbing. But most importantly I dreamed that an LDS family with two children bought our house. When I woke up I only shared the first three dreams and kept the last one to myself for fear of being too hopeful. I put a lot of importance and meaning into dreams. I am a dreamer. We had a showing of the house. It was just a lady and her realtor that came. The funniest thing happened. I was sitting upstairs on the computer when they came up there and lady looking for a house said, "That's a cute teenager!" So I replied, "Sorry, I don't come with the house."
Sunday I finally went to church for the first time in weeks. I was late but I still felt the spirit I always do when I enter the house of the Lord. I have never actually mentioned this in a blog before but something that I hold near and dear to my heart is that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I make a lot of mistakes and I know I will continue to make them but I know that I am a daughter of God and I know he loves me. I am LDS. August 1st was the eleventh anniversary of my baptism and I feel bad that I didn't go to church that day. I should have celebrated by going to church. But I make mistakes and I know I can be forgiven. That is what I am working on.
Monday was a two-part day for me. It started off with a showing at 10am. The lady from Saturday came back with her husband and a camera. It turned out that they were looking for a house for their son and daughter-in-law and two grand children who are moving here from overseas. They are from the Bennett's Creek ward. They are the LDS family I dreamed about. When they told us they wanted to buy it I had to stop myself from crying. My hope and my dreams didn't go to waste. Part two started when a friend from Courtland was really depressed. I drove an hour there to go comfort him even though he was at work at the time. I learned that I am the rescuer. I want to save my friends from their sadness and pain.
Tuesday I went to see my therapist. I see her once a week every week. I love her. She is wonderful. Something she asked was how I felt about my parents moving so far away. I told her I hadn't developed feelings yet. But we worked on it for a while and figured out that I am scared. Every time I leave or someone else leaves, I get afraid that they will find someone to replace me. Then I don't even want to talk to them because I feel like they don't miss me. If you are a friend reading this that lives more than two miles away from me and I don't talk to you everyday, this should explain why. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for you anymore. Please forgive me for ignoring you. I still love you all. I am insecure.
Wednesday is going to take up a whole other page.
Last Wednesday we were supposed to have a house showing. The people never showed up. I learned that day that I was hopeful. Even though they didn't show up I still was hopeful that someone would buy the house very soon.
Last Thursday was my friend Kyle's birthday. I don't really remember doing much that day except attempted to pack. I am forgetful. I forgot pretty much everything about that day. I didn't celebrate or anything special I just forgot.
Last Friday I spontaneously hung out with some of my friends at a pool party. I believe I made one of my friend's girlfriend very upset at me. Sometimes I can be overbearing.
Saturday was cool. I woke up with several dreams. I had a dream that I was walking by a cactus and it got scared of me so it shot all it spikes into my foot. I think my subconscious is confusing cacti with porcupine. I also had a dream that I met a family a water park that lost their son. I was determined to find him so I stayed there all night and found him the next day. I also had a dream that part of my body was mutilated and dangling in places it shouldn't have been. It was bizarre and disturbing. But most importantly I dreamed that an LDS family with two children bought our house. When I woke up I only shared the first three dreams and kept the last one to myself for fear of being too hopeful. I put a lot of importance and meaning into dreams. I am a dreamer. We had a showing of the house. It was just a lady and her realtor that came. The funniest thing happened. I was sitting upstairs on the computer when they came up there and lady looking for a house said, "That's a cute teenager!" So I replied, "Sorry, I don't come with the house."
Sunday I finally went to church for the first time in weeks. I was late but I still felt the spirit I always do when I enter the house of the Lord. I have never actually mentioned this in a blog before but something that I hold near and dear to my heart is that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I make a lot of mistakes and I know I will continue to make them but I know that I am a daughter of God and I know he loves me. I am LDS. August 1st was the eleventh anniversary of my baptism and I feel bad that I didn't go to church that day. I should have celebrated by going to church. But I make mistakes and I know I can be forgiven. That is what I am working on.
Monday was a two-part day for me. It started off with a showing at 10am. The lady from Saturday came back with her husband and a camera. It turned out that they were looking for a house for their son and daughter-in-law and two grand children who are moving here from overseas. They are from the Bennett's Creek ward. They are the LDS family I dreamed about. When they told us they wanted to buy it I had to stop myself from crying. My hope and my dreams didn't go to waste. Part two started when a friend from Courtland was really depressed. I drove an hour there to go comfort him even though he was at work at the time. I learned that I am the rescuer. I want to save my friends from their sadness and pain.
Tuesday I went to see my therapist. I see her once a week every week. I love her. She is wonderful. Something she asked was how I felt about my parents moving so far away. I told her I hadn't developed feelings yet. But we worked on it for a while and figured out that I am scared. Every time I leave or someone else leaves, I get afraid that they will find someone to replace me. Then I don't even want to talk to them because I feel like they don't miss me. If you are a friend reading this that lives more than two miles away from me and I don't talk to you everyday, this should explain why. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for you anymore. Please forgive me for ignoring you. I still love you all. I am insecure.
Wednesday is going to take up a whole other page.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Oh NOES!!!
Apparently Blogger thinks that my blog is a "spam" blog. I'm not sure how they got that idea. There isn't any crazy repetition in my blog or any links in it either. I'm just a girl trying to learn about myself and share my findings with whoever wants to read it. They are going to review it and if they decide in twenty days that it is indeed a spam blog, they will shut me down permanently. Yikes! But I really don't feel I have anything to worry about. It's just my life they are reviewing.
So some things that have been on my mind lately probably for about a week. I have this friend who has another friend I used to be friends with. I used to be pretty good friends with him in fact. One time at a party he got sick so I cleaned up his puke when no one else would. Now, four months later, this person is saying things about me behind my back to my friend. Things that would normally make one not want to be friends with the talked about person anymore. But thankfully, he is being a good friend and not letting his friend get to him. But the thing that hurts is that the things that were said were completely false. If he is saying them to my friend to try to turn him against me, who else is he saying them to? I am baffled that a person could stoop so low to be so mean. It hurts me and confuses me. I have learned something about people that I wish wasn't true but sometimes people will cut someone down to make them feel better about themselves. I am being the victim and it hurts like no other.
I am sensitive. Words hurt me when they are sharp like a knife. I feel other people's pain when they are being picked on because I remember being in their shoes.
So some things that have been on my mind lately probably for about a week. I have this friend who has another friend I used to be friends with. I used to be pretty good friends with him in fact. One time at a party he got sick so I cleaned up his puke when no one else would. Now, four months later, this person is saying things about me behind my back to my friend. Things that would normally make one not want to be friends with the talked about person anymore. But thankfully, he is being a good friend and not letting his friend get to him. But the thing that hurts is that the things that were said were completely false. If he is saying them to my friend to try to turn him against me, who else is he saying them to? I am baffled that a person could stoop so low to be so mean. It hurts me and confuses me. I have learned something about people that I wish wasn't true but sometimes people will cut someone down to make them feel better about themselves. I am being the victim and it hurts like no other.
I am sensitive. Words hurt me when they are sharp like a knife. I feel other people's pain when they are being picked on because I remember being in their shoes.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Summing Up the Shenandoah
As you may have noticed, I am a few days behind on my blog. I will sum everything up into a nice short little blog instead of several longer ones. The last day I blogged about (besides yesterday) was last Monday.
Tuesday I was contemplating freedom and what a great country we live in. I has been on my mind for quite a while now but I am finally putting it in words. I love America. I love being free. I can't imaging living in a country where I didn't have the freedom to choose what religion I want or whether or not I wanted an education. Some countries force you to get one and some don't even allow women to set foot in a school. I love the rolling mountains. I love the beautiful cornfields. I love the big blue skies. I love the city lights. I love being American. I am patriotic.
Wednesday Jackie came up to the Shenandoah. She loved it. I barely knew Jackie until she came and then we became closer. We are pretty tight now. I loved how we were just so comfortable around each other. I am friendly.
Thursday we all went to the outdoor pool. The indoor one was closed for maintenance. We were acting like goof balls in the pool trying to knock each other off our noodles we were floating on. Then I randomly decided I was bored so I said let's go play on the play ground. We had "see who can swing the highest" competitions. Then we took some pretty awesome pictures of us in this tunnel that makes us look ten feet tall. I am silly. I like to do fun stuff that most people think is strange.
Friday we had to leave. We had to wake up early and pack everything. I was feeling like garbage because I only got about two hours of sleep but I still managed to get everything out of there and things cleaned the way the wanted them in time for us to have Matt back to get to work. I am responsible. Give me a task that needs to be done in a certain amount of time and you can count on me (not the old me, but the new me).
Saturday I was at my dad's house. We were just chilling out in their pool. My dad came up with this fun game. You sit on a floaty like it's a horse and try to get this little tiny ball in the floating basket. You have to stay on your horse or it doesn't count. I found out that I am terrible at that game and I hate playing games for long periods of time unless I have at least a couple of points. I always want to quit Monopoly when I only have $150 dollars left. I usually want to quit games that I have no luck in unless they are really fun and I'm playing on a team. I hate to admit this but I am a poor sport on the inside.
Tuesday I was contemplating freedom and what a great country we live in. I has been on my mind for quite a while now but I am finally putting it in words. I love America. I love being free. I can't imaging living in a country where I didn't have the freedom to choose what religion I want or whether or not I wanted an education. Some countries force you to get one and some don't even allow women to set foot in a school. I love the rolling mountains. I love the beautiful cornfields. I love the big blue skies. I love the city lights. I love being American. I am patriotic.
Wednesday Jackie came up to the Shenandoah. She loved it. I barely knew Jackie until she came and then we became closer. We are pretty tight now. I loved how we were just so comfortable around each other. I am friendly.
Thursday we all went to the outdoor pool. The indoor one was closed for maintenance. We were acting like goof balls in the pool trying to knock each other off our noodles we were floating on. Then I randomly decided I was bored so I said let's go play on the play ground. We had "see who can swing the highest" competitions. Then we took some pretty awesome pictures of us in this tunnel that makes us look ten feet tall. I am silly. I like to do fun stuff that most people think is strange.
Friday we had to leave. We had to wake up early and pack everything. I was feeling like garbage because I only got about two hours of sleep but I still managed to get everything out of there and things cleaned the way the wanted them in time for us to have Matt back to get to work. I am responsible. Give me a task that needs to be done in a certain amount of time and you can count on me (not the old me, but the new me).
Saturday I was at my dad's house. We were just chilling out in their pool. My dad came up with this fun game. You sit on a floaty like it's a horse and try to get this little tiny ball in the floating basket. You have to stay on your horse or it doesn't count. I found out that I am terrible at that game and I hate playing games for long periods of time unless I have at least a couple of points. I always want to quit Monopoly when I only have $150 dollars left. I usually want to quit games that I have no luck in unless they are really fun and I'm playing on a team. I hate to admit this but I am a poor sport on the inside.
Best Birthday EVER
Yesterday was my 19th birthday. I did some pretty CrAzY things. None that I regretted thankfully. First things first. As some of you may have noticed, I was in an "open relationship" with my very good friend Apollos. And then we were engaged. Then we broke up. And now we "hate" each other. None of this is true. It is all a joke. We did it just for fun because it was my birthday and wanted to be spontaneous.
Secondly and very sadly, I did not go to church on my birthday. I would have loved to celebrate my very special day at church eleven years after I was baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but I was running way too late and I was planning on leaving early anyway. On my way to church I took the wrong exit which ended up being my ex-boyfriend, Kyle's exit. We just started talking to each other again the night before for the first time in six months. I knew he would be at work so I decided to stop by and say hi. I dropped in for a while and followed him while he stocked the shelves of Food Lion. It was rather entertaining as I watched him use his box cutter, barely missing his hand. While he was helping a customer on another isle I decided to play a joke and turn all the corn around backwards so just the nutrition label was showing. But when he came back he told me I had to leave so the joke went unnoticed.
I came home and made some vanilla chocolate chip pudding and watched the last episode of season one America's Next Top Model while I waited for my friend Nick to arrive. We had made plans last week to go and see the movie Salt. When he finally showed up he ate some pudding and I had three cookies he promised me (it was a great birthday present). We left and went to chill at the mall before our 4:30 showing. We went into several stores and did nothing. Then like idiots we ran down the up escalator and almost got kicked out of the mall. It was the absolute highlight of my day. After that we decided to have a fake argument about nonsensical stuff right in the middle of the mall. After getting a several strange looks we quit our faux fight and looked at puppies in the pet shop. It was getting to be the time for our movie so we headed out. We bought our tickets and sat in the seventh row on the right side. After a while we decided to move to the third row.
Finally the previews started but Nick and I barely noticed. We were too busy laughing and telling stories to each other. After about ten minutes into the movie we decided to leave because we weren't paying any attention to the movie. We were talking and just disturbing people. We headed on over to Taco Bell and ate some yummies. We talked and joked and laughed some more. We caught up on life and remembered all the good times we had when we were younger. After a while we realized that it was getting late. Nick had a long drive back home and I wanted to hang out with my best friend Theresa before my day was through. Nick drove me to Theresa's sister's house then took us to Jason's house where Kyle was hanging out for the night.
Nick departed and Terri and I surprised Jason immensely. Jason knew that Kyle and I strongly disliked each other for the longest time and thought that we would never be friends again. But Kyle and I hugged and proved him wrong. We watched a chick-flick and couple of us went to McDonald's to grab some grub. When we came back Apollos and Jason's gf showed up and we played Apples to Apples. The green cards that you win are supposed to describe you. I won Scrumptulecent (a word that Jason made up) and Confused.
Around 10, Kyle took Theresa and me home. She and I decided to go to WalMart to get some Ramen Noodles. More to come on this story later. So we hopped in my car and went to the Wally World next to my school where a friend of mine works stocking cold stuff. We talked to him for a really long time and ran around the place like chickens with our heads cut off. We stole my Jacob's produce sharpie and wrote on each other. After a while we finally realized they were never going to stock Chicken flavored Ramen so we blew that popsicle stand and went to another WalMart. We could only find a 12 pack so we committed ourselves to eating six packs each when we got home. Cashier 18 was HOTT! I just had to say that.
We finally got home, washed off our sharpie and p.j.ed it up. I made four packs of Ramen and we almost hurled at the sight of so many noodles, nevertheless we ate. I couldn't finish mine but Theresa was a beast! Now I just have a big pack of Ramen sitting on my counter looking lonely crying for us to eat it. Overall, it was the most random but best birthday ever.
I am random. I will always do things spontaneously. Do you want to go mud-wrestling? No? OK... Why don't squids use telescopes? Can you give my wristwatch a massage? Let's play HOPSCOTCH! 1-2-3-fish-5-6-potato-8-9-10. You WIN! Can we play again?
Secondly and very sadly, I did not go to church on my birthday. I would have loved to celebrate my very special day at church eleven years after I was baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but I was running way too late and I was planning on leaving early anyway. On my way to church I took the wrong exit which ended up being my ex-boyfriend, Kyle's exit. We just started talking to each other again the night before for the first time in six months. I knew he would be at work so I decided to stop by and say hi. I dropped in for a while and followed him while he stocked the shelves of Food Lion. It was rather entertaining as I watched him use his box cutter, barely missing his hand. While he was helping a customer on another isle I decided to play a joke and turn all the corn around backwards so just the nutrition label was showing. But when he came back he told me I had to leave so the joke went unnoticed.
I came home and made some vanilla chocolate chip pudding and watched the last episode of season one America's Next Top Model while I waited for my friend Nick to arrive. We had made plans last week to go and see the movie Salt. When he finally showed up he ate some pudding and I had three cookies he promised me (it was a great birthday present). We left and went to chill at the mall before our 4:30 showing. We went into several stores and did nothing. Then like idiots we ran down the up escalator and almost got kicked out of the mall. It was the absolute highlight of my day. After that we decided to have a fake argument about nonsensical stuff right in the middle of the mall. After getting a several strange looks we quit our faux fight and looked at puppies in the pet shop. It was getting to be the time for our movie so we headed out. We bought our tickets and sat in the seventh row on the right side. After a while we decided to move to the third row.
Finally the previews started but Nick and I barely noticed. We were too busy laughing and telling stories to each other. After about ten minutes into the movie we decided to leave because we weren't paying any attention to the movie. We were talking and just disturbing people. We headed on over to Taco Bell and ate some yummies. We talked and joked and laughed some more. We caught up on life and remembered all the good times we had when we were younger. After a while we realized that it was getting late. Nick had a long drive back home and I wanted to hang out with my best friend Theresa before my day was through. Nick drove me to Theresa's sister's house then took us to Jason's house where Kyle was hanging out for the night.
Nick departed and Terri and I surprised Jason immensely. Jason knew that Kyle and I strongly disliked each other for the longest time and thought that we would never be friends again. But Kyle and I hugged and proved him wrong. We watched a chick-flick and couple of us went to McDonald's to grab some grub. When we came back Apollos and Jason's gf showed up and we played Apples to Apples. The green cards that you win are supposed to describe you. I won Scrumptulecent (a word that Jason made up) and Confused.
Around 10, Kyle took Theresa and me home. She and I decided to go to WalMart to get some Ramen Noodles. More to come on this story later. So we hopped in my car and went to the Wally World next to my school where a friend of mine works stocking cold stuff. We talked to him for a really long time and ran around the place like chickens with our heads cut off. We stole my Jacob's produce sharpie and wrote on each other. After a while we finally realized they were never going to stock Chicken flavored Ramen so we blew that popsicle stand and went to another WalMart. We could only find a 12 pack so we committed ourselves to eating six packs each when we got home. Cashier 18 was HOTT! I just had to say that.
We finally got home, washed off our sharpie and p.j.ed it up. I made four packs of Ramen and we almost hurled at the sight of so many noodles, nevertheless we ate. I couldn't finish mine but Theresa was a beast! Now I just have a big pack of Ramen sitting on my counter looking lonely crying for us to eat it. Overall, it was the most random but best birthday ever.
I am random. I will always do things spontaneously. Do you want to go mud-wrestling? No? OK... Why don't squids use telescopes? Can you give my wristwatch a massage? Let's play HOPSCOTCH! 1-2-3-fish-5-6-potato-8-9-10. You WIN! Can we play again?
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Driving Myself Even Crazier...
Yesterday my dad and step-mom left so it was just Austin and me for the night. Today was Monday, a very eventful day. It should have been less eventful but as we all know, things don't always turn out the way you want them.
Austin and I woke up at 5:00am so we could go pick up my friend Matt. I thought Austin would be hard to wake up but he was actually the one to wake me up. We ate a light breakfast of chocolate pebbles then hopped in the car and started our journey. I was so surprised that neither of us was tired after only getting about three hours of sleep. We drove, and drove, and drove some more, and kept on driving. I don't mind driving on one road for hundreds of miles. Just as long as I have some scenery or a couple of lanes to keep things interesting. The part of the journey I hated the most was when we came up to a road that was one lane each direction and corn fields all around. I had to drive that road for 23 miles. Not a single speed limit sign so I never knew how fast to go and there were some pretty wicked curves too. So that only slowed me down.
We finally got there around 10:00am. I left a box of stuff at Matt's house so we would have some space when we all came home. We loaded up Matt, his bags, and his guitar and headed off. We were all enjoying ourselves with pleasant conversation and fun music until about 170 miles away from our final destination. Then dun, dun, dun... The worst happened. I heard a thu-bump bump noise and saw a piece of tire fly. I thought maybe I just ran over someone's flat tire so I asked, "Was that our tire?" Then, BAM! All the weight of our car shifted towards the front left tire. It scared me so bad. I pulled over to the left shoulder as quickly as I could and got to work. We unpacked the trunk looking for the spare. We used our sad little jack to prop up the car and I called my dad. While the boys were taking the old tire off, I was panicking on the phone inside my lopsided car. My father told me to go to a used tire place and have them put a used tire on my wheel because there was no way I would be able to drive over a hundred miles on just a spare. Just then the car collapsed. The jack slipped out of place and gouged the side of my car. The tire was loosely sitting on the base. I was worried it was going to mess up the car but everything was ok. A road-side assistant pulled up right behind me and helped us out. He pulled out his jack that put my wimpy jack to shame and went to work. Well actually he just gave us the tools and told us what to do. He gave me directions to a used tire place and we all headed down the road. I drove very carefully for seven and a half miles. But had to keep slowing down because my spare was flat! All we heard was ka-plunk, ka-plunk, ka-plunk. I was so worried that the spare would die on me too. All I could vision was me spinning out uncontrollably and dying.
We finally got to the used tire place and they knew just what to do. They took my old popped tire off the wheel, put a new one on and pumped some air in it for only $30! We all got the great idea that if they could fill the regular tire why not pump a little of that air in my spare? Air should be free right? Wrong. The guy took my spare and pumped a little bit of air in it then *pop* It split to pieces. The head manager came over and asked if we still wanted the spare. I was like duh... I'm going to need something if this happens again. But of course I was polite and just said yes, please. So he proceeded to tell us both tires would be $55. My brother got livid and Matt pulled out the big guns. They both flipped out on him and told him we weren't paying for a tire they broke. We only wanted air in the spare not to have the whole tire replaced but his mechanic made that impossible. He walked away while I stood there and worried for a while. I was worried we were going to have to pay for it no matter what.
Alas he came back with with a receipt for just $30. We were so happy. But I will tell you, I worried the entire ride back that we would get another flat. But we were ok. We made it all the way safe and sound.
I am a worry wart. Little things worry me and I will drive myself insane until they are resolved. Sometimes I enjoy worrying, especially about the little things.
Austin and I woke up at 5:00am so we could go pick up my friend Matt. I thought Austin would be hard to wake up but he was actually the one to wake me up. We ate a light breakfast of chocolate pebbles then hopped in the car and started our journey. I was so surprised that neither of us was tired after only getting about three hours of sleep. We drove, and drove, and drove some more, and kept on driving. I don't mind driving on one road for hundreds of miles. Just as long as I have some scenery or a couple of lanes to keep things interesting. The part of the journey I hated the most was when we came up to a road that was one lane each direction and corn fields all around. I had to drive that road for 23 miles. Not a single speed limit sign so I never knew how fast to go and there were some pretty wicked curves too. So that only slowed me down.
We finally got there around 10:00am. I left a box of stuff at Matt's house so we would have some space when we all came home. We loaded up Matt, his bags, and his guitar and headed off. We were all enjoying ourselves with pleasant conversation and fun music until about 170 miles away from our final destination. Then dun, dun, dun... The worst happened. I heard a thu-bump bump noise and saw a piece of tire fly. I thought maybe I just ran over someone's flat tire so I asked, "Was that our tire?" Then, BAM! All the weight of our car shifted towards the front left tire. It scared me so bad. I pulled over to the left shoulder as quickly as I could and got to work. We unpacked the trunk looking for the spare. We used our sad little jack to prop up the car and I called my dad. While the boys were taking the old tire off, I was panicking on the phone inside my lopsided car. My father told me to go to a used tire place and have them put a used tire on my wheel because there was no way I would be able to drive over a hundred miles on just a spare. Just then the car collapsed. The jack slipped out of place and gouged the side of my car. The tire was loosely sitting on the base. I was worried it was going to mess up the car but everything was ok. A road-side assistant pulled up right behind me and helped us out. He pulled out his jack that put my wimpy jack to shame and went to work. Well actually he just gave us the tools and told us what to do. He gave me directions to a used tire place and we all headed down the road. I drove very carefully for seven and a half miles. But had to keep slowing down because my spare was flat! All we heard was ka-plunk, ka-plunk, ka-plunk. I was so worried that the spare would die on me too. All I could vision was me spinning out uncontrollably and dying.
We finally got to the used tire place and they knew just what to do. They took my old popped tire off the wheel, put a new one on and pumped some air in it for only $30! We all got the great idea that if they could fill the regular tire why not pump a little of that air in my spare? Air should be free right? Wrong. The guy took my spare and pumped a little bit of air in it then *pop* It split to pieces. The head manager came over and asked if we still wanted the spare. I was like duh... I'm going to need something if this happens again. But of course I was polite and just said yes, please. So he proceeded to tell us both tires would be $55. My brother got livid and Matt pulled out the big guns. They both flipped out on him and told him we weren't paying for a tire they broke. We only wanted air in the spare not to have the whole tire replaced but his mechanic made that impossible. He walked away while I stood there and worried for a while. I was worried we were going to have to pay for it no matter what.
Alas he came back with with a receipt for just $30. We were so happy. But I will tell you, I worried the entire ride back that we would get another flat. But we were ok. We made it all the way safe and sound.
I am a worry wart. Little things worry me and I will drive myself insane until they are resolved. Sometimes I enjoy worrying, especially about the little things.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday
Today I woke up with a little bit of a headache. My family wanted to go into town and look at the shops with me but since I wasn't feeling well they decided to let me rest on the couch. I slept for probably about two more hours and then woke up to watch Disney Channel. Hours and hours of Disney Channel. I was so excited when I found out there was a show called "Hannah Montana Forever." I thought Miley was done with all the Hannah Montana stuff but COOL! Now I have more shows to watch. I just recently watched all the episodes of Sunny With a Chance. I LOVED them. Especially when Sunny and Chad finally start dating. I almost gave up on them. Just like I almost gave up on Bailey and Cody on The Suite Life On Deck. But they've been together for a year now! How cute is that?! I don't know... I just really love kids shows. Don't even get me started on Phineas and Pherb. I lllllooooove that show! Hahaha, oh and when my family got back they were like, "What's going on here? Did Nerissa just take some little girl pills?" Ok, I think I've figured out what I am today.
I am child-like. I like children's television shows. I am innocent (sometimes). I like to play with legos and other toys that are meant only for children.
I am child-like. I like children's television shows. I am innocent (sometimes). I like to play with legos and other toys that are meant only for children.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Zip, zip, zip
Today, my 15 year old brother, Austin and I went ZIP LINING!!! It was freaking amazing. My family was just driving through the mountains looking for something to do and couldn't find anything so we decided to look around where we were staying. There is a ski resort right next to our townhouse and they do zip lining there. The whole thing takes over an hour and a half. We had four guides. They were so cool. The whole tour is over a mile long and totally sweeeeet. Dad and Shelley wouldn't go because they were too scared. Just kidding. Shelley just had foot surgery and Dad didn't want to leave her alone. But Austin and I had such an amazing time. I loved it and will go again the next time I have the chance. Anybody wanna plan a zip line/camp trip some weekend? There's a really good place I hear that just opened up in Fayetteville, NC. There's plenty of fun things to do down there too.
I am adventurous. I like trying new things that could possibly get me hurt but as long as I'm having fun doing it, it's cool with me!
Driving Myself Crazy
So I finally got some internet. We're up in a little town in the Shenandoahs called Woodstock. It doesn't have much to do in it besides the movies (which we happen to be waiting for) but I figured since I had some time I'd blog these past few days.
July 23 Friday
So today I drove all the way to the Shenandoahs by myself. Not that I minded. I enjoyed it. It was rather peaceful. The only aggravating thing was when I made a wrong turn in the beginning of my journey. The map and directions I got were both unclear what road to take so I ended up having to turn on the GPS. The GPS kept me on the same road and it only added 15 extra miles to the trip but it's always annoying when you find out you could have saved a little bit of gas and time. But that's ok. I was safe and that's all that matters.
I love long road trips because they give you time to think or when you're with other people it helps you get to know them better. What I love even more is listening to the radio or cds when but unfortunately most of my cds have scratches on them now. I mostly listened to the radio to keep me awake. I recently started listening to hip-hop. Musicians like Kesha, Justin Beiber, and La Roux keep me going. My friend, Theresa is the one who really got me interested in this type of music. The only annoying thing about long trips and radio stations is that you have to tune into a new one every 50 miles or so. I hate driving through little towns that only have country music. I strongly dislike country music so much... UGH! Funny thing is you would think big towns would have good music but NO! Driving through Richmond was my least favorite part of that trip. They only had country, rap, and R&B. It was crazy. No rock, no oldies, no hip-hop, no techno, not even classical music. It was ridiculous.
After I traveled for 175 miles I finally saw a cop. I didn't know that cops pulled people over in the mountains. No, I didn't get pulled over. I was just being observant.
I thought it was funny when I saw a sign for Goochland and Oliville. Teehee. Bahahahahaha! It's just so funny to me.
I was really surprised when I drove into the actual mountains. It was so breathtaking. I loved it. If you ever get a chance to, please drive through the Shenandoahs.
I'm getting tired now so I'm going to go to bed. I just drove 5 hours so give me a break. :)
I am a driver enthusiast. I love signs. I love winding roads. I love driving at any speed just as long as I have somewhere to go.
July 23 Friday
So today I drove all the way to the Shenandoahs by myself. Not that I minded. I enjoyed it. It was rather peaceful. The only aggravating thing was when I made a wrong turn in the beginning of my journey. The map and directions I got were both unclear what road to take so I ended up having to turn on the GPS. The GPS kept me on the same road and it only added 15 extra miles to the trip but it's always annoying when you find out you could have saved a little bit of gas and time. But that's ok. I was safe and that's all that matters.
I love long road trips because they give you time to think or when you're with other people it helps you get to know them better. What I love even more is listening to the radio or cds when but unfortunately most of my cds have scratches on them now. I mostly listened to the radio to keep me awake. I recently started listening to hip-hop. Musicians like Kesha, Justin Beiber, and La Roux keep me going. My friend, Theresa is the one who really got me interested in this type of music. The only annoying thing about long trips and radio stations is that you have to tune into a new one every 50 miles or so. I hate driving through little towns that only have country music. I strongly dislike country music so much... UGH! Funny thing is you would think big towns would have good music but NO! Driving through Richmond was my least favorite part of that trip. They only had country, rap, and R&B. It was crazy. No rock, no oldies, no hip-hop, no techno, not even classical music. It was ridiculous.
After I traveled for 175 miles I finally saw a cop. I didn't know that cops pulled people over in the mountains. No, I didn't get pulled over. I was just being observant.
I thought it was funny when I saw a sign for Goochland and Oliville. Teehee. Bahahahahaha! It's just so funny to me.
I was really surprised when I drove into the actual mountains. It was so breathtaking. I loved it. If you ever get a chance to, please drive through the Shenandoahs.
I'm getting tired now so I'm going to go to bed. I just drove 5 hours so give me a break. :)
I am a driver enthusiast. I love signs. I love winding roads. I love driving at any speed just as long as I have somewhere to go.
Friday, July 23, 2010
A Little Life Story
I just wanted to give a little bit of a background to my dating life. I realize I already blogged less than 15 hours ago but I just wanted to give a little background to those who don't know me. My first boyfriend was in kindergarten. His name was Joshua. He was so cute. Then after that I just became the nerdy girl that no one really liked but I never knew that. I kept trying to get the attention of everyone especially the boys. My mother says I've always been a flirt, even since I was a toddler. As I got older I became less geeky and more cute but I was still stuck in the mind set that I was a complete loser and no one liked me.
When I was 12 my world came caving in. I found out my parents were getting a divorce. I had always looked to their marriage as perfect and one I hoped to have some day but nevertheless they were splitting up. Without my dad around, I had no real male figure in my home. I looked to boys and relationships as a way to fill that void. So through puberty and up I've been trying to fill an empty hole with guys and more guys.
The teen years are when you are supposed to find out who you are or want to be. I never gave myself that chance since I was always trying to be Mr. Cute Guy's perfect girl.
I eventually changed myself so much and so often I never truly figured out what I like. I did do one thing. I ended up hating myself. Last year I hated myself right into a hospital for eight days. No, I was not suicidal. But I sure didn't feel like living at the time. This is a sad part of my story. I don't really like to tell it but I feel it is necessary to give you the full effect of what early dating can do.
The wonderful thing about what happened was I realized I had a problem. That problem was that I was being co-dependent on someone to make me feel happy. I had several friends and doctors give me the advice to stop dating for a while and really take the time to figure out who I am. I am finally taking that advice eight months later. I wish I could thank each of those people now personally. Hopefully when I am a better me, I can.
When I was 12 my world came caving in. I found out my parents were getting a divorce. I had always looked to their marriage as perfect and one I hoped to have some day but nevertheless they were splitting up. Without my dad around, I had no real male figure in my home. I looked to boys and relationships as a way to fill that void. So through puberty and up I've been trying to fill an empty hole with guys and more guys.
The teen years are when you are supposed to find out who you are or want to be. I never gave myself that chance since I was always trying to be Mr. Cute Guy's perfect girl.
I eventually changed myself so much and so often I never truly figured out what I like. I did do one thing. I ended up hating myself. Last year I hated myself right into a hospital for eight days. No, I was not suicidal. But I sure didn't feel like living at the time. This is a sad part of my story. I don't really like to tell it but I feel it is necessary to give you the full effect of what early dating can do.
The wonderful thing about what happened was I realized I had a problem. That problem was that I was being co-dependent on someone to make me feel happy. I had several friends and doctors give me the advice to stop dating for a while and really take the time to figure out who I am. I am finally taking that advice eight months later. I wish I could thank each of those people now personally. Hopefully when I am a better me, I can.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Day Number Two, Feeling Like Poo
I'm feeling like poo because I woke up with a headache yet again. I think that's the fourth day in a row now. I still feel a little depressed but that's to be expected, right? This blog is really what excites me and gets me motivated.
I haven't really accomplished much today (yet). I'm moving into an apartment with one of my best friends on August 15th and my parents are moving to Colorado. I'm supposed to be packing my room up and I haven't done very much in it. I got the second disc to season one America's Next Top Model in the mail and really wanted to watch it so I decided to play it on my laptop while I attempted packing. I tried but just got so distracted. I think what distracts me most about that show is the amazing make-up they do. It's so good.
But anyway, as I was attempting to pack I was going through some of last semester's school papers wondering whether or not I should save them. I read some of them and they were mostly History (I think). They said stuff like "Italian Cardinal Mazarin was an influence on Louis XIV. Mazarin calms down the war. Mazarin is a funny name. I wonder what kind of parents he had. I wonder what his name means. Oh my gosh, I have no idea what my teacher just said." Then in the math papers I found, they would be drawings of circles with formulas and when I couldn't figure out the formulas I would just draw turtles or rabid squirrels. I still wonder how I managed to get a C in Algebra and a B in History. It amazes me.
Yesterday I started cutting up the stuffed animals my ex-boyfriends gave me. Not because I hated them but because I needed the stuffing for a couple of pillows I wanted to make. I cut the kitty cat slippers; I dissected the frog; I de-stuffed the doggies; I broke the bunny; I tore Tweety; and I baked Mr. Potato Head (not literally though). I was actually very fun. Now I have to big bags of stuffing and several shells of un-stuffed animals. Their stuffing will be great in my robin egg pillows.
Oh that's right! I didn't tell you... I decided to switch my major to interior design. It was originally general studies leaning more towards musical theatre. But I've decided what I really want to do is design and make furniture. Since they don't have woodworking at my college I went with interior design. One of my many ideas is to make a living room that looks like a forest. That's why I need robin egg pillows. Oh, look at me. I can't even talk about one thing at a time in a blog, haha. But there is good news. I did stay focused long enough yesterday to register for classes at my local community college. I'm so excited for it. I'm taking three IDS classes and English 111 again. I failed the first time because I didn't turn my work in.
It turns out the Biology course I took doesn't count towards this degree. I was so ticked. Ugh! My parents were like, "You have to take Biology, Nerissa. Every degree requires you to take a physical science." Not mine. I need a "Social Science Elective." I think it's funny when they call it an elective in college when really no one wants to take it. In high school, electives were fun classes that you got to goof off in like band or choir or weight lifting.
I wanted to clear a couple things up. I was asked if I was going to stop dating. My answer is no. I will continue to go on dates casually or with friends but I will not get involved with a romantic relationship. Another thing I wanted to clear up is the dating since I was 12. I had a "boyfriend" since I was 12. I was never allowed to go anywhere with him until I was 15. I didn't have my first real date until a month before my 17th birthday. One more thing. This year to myself isn't going to be about just me me me. I'm not going to be a selfish jerk. I definitely care about the world around me and the people in it. I just realized I didn't care enough about me. That is why I am doing this.
I really should get back to packing. I have a big day tomorrow. I have a 5 hour drive up to the Shenandoahs. I'm visiting my family then a few of my friends are coming up to spend the rest of the week with me. Hopefully I get internet up there. If not, I'll blog on a piece of paper then enter it all in when I get back Thursday night.
I am easily distracted. I find things fascinating and more interesting than what I am doing and often it gets me in trouble. I like pretty shiny things.
I haven't really accomplished much today (yet). I'm moving into an apartment with one of my best friends on August 15th and my parents are moving to Colorado. I'm supposed to be packing my room up and I haven't done very much in it. I got the second disc to season one America's Next Top Model in the mail and really wanted to watch it so I decided to play it on my laptop while I attempted packing. I tried but just got so distracted. I think what distracts me most about that show is the amazing make-up they do. It's so good.
But anyway, as I was attempting to pack I was going through some of last semester's school papers wondering whether or not I should save them. I read some of them and they were mostly History (I think). They said stuff like "Italian Cardinal Mazarin was an influence on Louis XIV. Mazarin calms down the war. Mazarin is a funny name. I wonder what kind of parents he had. I wonder what his name means. Oh my gosh, I have no idea what my teacher just said." Then in the math papers I found, they would be drawings of circles with formulas and when I couldn't figure out the formulas I would just draw turtles or rabid squirrels. I still wonder how I managed to get a C in Algebra and a B in History. It amazes me.
Yesterday I started cutting up the stuffed animals my ex-boyfriends gave me. Not because I hated them but because I needed the stuffing for a couple of pillows I wanted to make. I cut the kitty cat slippers; I dissected the frog; I de-stuffed the doggies; I broke the bunny; I tore Tweety; and I baked Mr. Potato Head (not literally though). I was actually very fun. Now I have to big bags of stuffing and several shells of un-stuffed animals. Their stuffing will be great in my robin egg pillows.
Oh that's right! I didn't tell you... I decided to switch my major to interior design. It was originally general studies leaning more towards musical theatre. But I've decided what I really want to do is design and make furniture. Since they don't have woodworking at my college I went with interior design. One of my many ideas is to make a living room that looks like a forest. That's why I need robin egg pillows. Oh, look at me. I can't even talk about one thing at a time in a blog, haha. But there is good news. I did stay focused long enough yesterday to register for classes at my local community college. I'm so excited for it. I'm taking three IDS classes and English 111 again. I failed the first time because I didn't turn my work in.
It turns out the Biology course I took doesn't count towards this degree. I was so ticked. Ugh! My parents were like, "You have to take Biology, Nerissa. Every degree requires you to take a physical science." Not mine. I need a "Social Science Elective." I think it's funny when they call it an elective in college when really no one wants to take it. In high school, electives were fun classes that you got to goof off in like band or choir or weight lifting.
I wanted to clear a couple things up. I was asked if I was going to stop dating. My answer is no. I will continue to go on dates casually or with friends but I will not get involved with a romantic relationship. Another thing I wanted to clear up is the dating since I was 12. I had a "boyfriend" since I was 12. I was never allowed to go anywhere with him until I was 15. I didn't have my first real date until a month before my 17th birthday. One more thing. This year to myself isn't going to be about just me me me. I'm not going to be a selfish jerk. I definitely care about the world around me and the people in it. I just realized I didn't care enough about me. That is why I am doing this.
I really should get back to packing. I have a big day tomorrow. I have a 5 hour drive up to the Shenandoahs. I'm visiting my family then a few of my friends are coming up to spend the rest of the week with me. Hopefully I get internet up there. If not, I'll blog on a piece of paper then enter it all in when I get back Thursday night.
I am easily distracted. I find things fascinating and more interesting than what I am doing and often it gets me in trouble. I like pretty shiny things.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I am trying to find out who I am.
I know that I am Nerissa Hope Couch. And I know that I am an 18 year old girl who loves cats, acting and singing but what I don't really know is the big question, "who am I?" A Year and Some Change to Myself will be about my life without dating.
One very important thing to know about me is that I have been dating since I was twelve. This was much to my parents disliking and now I see it has just gotten me into trouble. I've "fallen in love" so many times it's hard to count. I've found "the one" more than once. Every time I've ever dated a guy, I've always thought to myself, "this is the guy! I want to marry him." I ended up rushing into so many things that I never learned how to A- be friends and B- be myself. That is what I am hoping to achieve this year. I'm hoping to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin and on my own two feet.
Each day I will conclude my blog with something I have learned (or may have already known) about me. But since today is the first day I have to lay down some ground rules for myself. If you are a reader and agree or disagree or even have some suggestions to my rules, please let me know.
Rules:
No relationships
No "falling in love"
No holding hands with any male that is not a relative
No looking at wedding rings
No looking through bridal magazines
No saying "I love you" to anyone who is not a relative or close family friend
No being alone in a room with any male after 6pm (except my dad)
Now that I have that out of the way I will tell you a little bit about what's going on in my life. Three days ago my world came crashing down (again). I was dumped by a wonderful person. I thought I was going to marry him. We had plans and such but unfortunately I pushed my religion on him and he was uncomfortable with it. I was too blind to see that. A lovely friend of mine sent me a message saying she was worried about me and reminded me that I am beautiful. She was also the one who made me realize if I can't feel comfortable by myself, I will never be comfortable with anyone else. She told me to love myself first. That is what I am doing. I am loving myself first.
I am going to love myself first for 375 days. I will have my 20th birthday on the 375th day. I will find out 375 things about myself and learn to love every quality, good and bad. I will no longer be afraid to be alone after this. I will love the world around me.
I am brave. That is what I have learned about me today. I have learned that it will take guts to expose myself but I am brave and will do it. I will be brave through this year and some change to live my life with just me in it.
One very important thing to know about me is that I have been dating since I was twelve. This was much to my parents disliking and now I see it has just gotten me into trouble. I've "fallen in love" so many times it's hard to count. I've found "the one" more than once. Every time I've ever dated a guy, I've always thought to myself, "this is the guy! I want to marry him." I ended up rushing into so many things that I never learned how to A- be friends and B- be myself. That is what I am hoping to achieve this year. I'm hoping to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin and on my own two feet.
Each day I will conclude my blog with something I have learned (or may have already known) about me. But since today is the first day I have to lay down some ground rules for myself. If you are a reader and agree or disagree or even have some suggestions to my rules, please let me know.
Rules:
No relationships
No "falling in love"
No holding hands with any male that is not a relative
No looking at wedding rings
No looking through bridal magazines
No saying "I love you" to anyone who is not a relative or close family friend
No being alone in a room with any male after 6pm (except my dad)
Now that I have that out of the way I will tell you a little bit about what's going on in my life. Three days ago my world came crashing down (again). I was dumped by a wonderful person. I thought I was going to marry him. We had plans and such but unfortunately I pushed my religion on him and he was uncomfortable with it. I was too blind to see that. A lovely friend of mine sent me a message saying she was worried about me and reminded me that I am beautiful. She was also the one who made me realize if I can't feel comfortable by myself, I will never be comfortable with anyone else. She told me to love myself first. That is what I am doing. I am loving myself first.
I am going to love myself first for 375 days. I will have my 20th birthday on the 375th day. I will find out 375 things about myself and learn to love every quality, good and bad. I will no longer be afraid to be alone after this. I will love the world around me.
I am brave. That is what I have learned about me today. I have learned that it will take guts to expose myself but I am brave and will do it. I will be brave through this year and some change to live my life with just me in it.
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