Ooooops

As you may have noticed, it has been quite a number of days since I have last blogged. Things have been very hectic in my life and I have barely taken the time to sit down and eat. A lot has changed. So let me update you.
Last Wednesday we were supposed to have a house showing. The people never showed up. I learned that day that I was hopeful. Even though they didn't show up I still was hopeful that someone would buy the house very soon.
Last Thursday was my friend Kyle's birthday. I don't really remember doing much that day except attempted to pack. I am forgetful. I forgot pretty much everything about that day. I didn't celebrate or anything special I just forgot.
Last Friday I spontaneously hung out with some of my friends at a pool party. I believe I made one of my friend's girlfriend very upset at me. Sometimes I can be overbearing.
Saturday was cool. I woke up with several dreams. I had a dream that I was walking by a cactus and it got scared of me so it shot all it spikes into my foot. I think my subconscious is confusing cacti with porcupine. I also had a dream that I met a family a water park that lost their son. I was determined to find him so I stayed there all night and found him the next day. I also had a dream that part of my body was mutilated and dangling in places it shouldn't have been. It was bizarre and disturbing. But most importantly I dreamed that an LDS family with two children bought our house. When I woke up I only shared the first three dreams and kept the last one to myself for fear of being too hopeful. I put a lot of importance and meaning into dreams. I am a dreamer. We had a showing of the house. It was just a lady and her realtor that came. The funniest thing happened. I was sitting upstairs on the computer when they came up there and lady looking for a house said, "That's a cute teenager!" So I replied, "Sorry, I don't come with the house."
Sunday I finally went to church for the first time in weeks. I was late but I still felt the spirit I always do when I enter the house of the Lord. I have never actually mentioned this in a blog before but something that I hold near and dear to my heart is that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I make a lot of mistakes and I know I will continue to make them but I know that I am a daughter of God and I know he loves me. I am LDS. August 1st was the eleventh anniversary of my baptism and I feel bad that I didn't go to church that day. I should have celebrated by going to church. But I make mistakes and I know I can be forgiven. That is what I am working on.
Monday was a two-part day for me. It started off with a showing at 10am. The lady from Saturday came back with her husband and a camera. It turned out that they were looking for a house for their son and daughter-in-law and two grand children who are moving here from overseas. They are from the Bennett's Creek ward. They are the LDS family I dreamed about. When they told us they wanted to buy it I had to stop myself from crying. My hope and my dreams didn't go to waste. Part two started when a friend from Courtland was really depressed. I drove an hour there to go comfort him even though he was at work at the time. I learned that I am the rescuer. I want to save my friends from their sadness and pain.
Tuesday I went to see my therapist. I see her once a week every week. I love her. She is wonderful. Something she asked was how I felt about my parents moving so far away. I told her I hadn't developed feelings yet. But we worked on it for a while and figured out that I am scared. Every time I leave or someone else leaves, I get afraid that they will find someone to replace me. Then I don't even want to talk to them because I feel like they don't miss me. If you are a friend reading this that lives more than two miles away from me and I don't talk to you everyday, this should explain why. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for you anymore. Please forgive me for ignoring you. I still love you all. I am insecure.
Wednesday is going to take up a whole other page.