I know that I am Nerissa Hope Couch. And I know that I am an 18 year old girl who loves cats, acting and singing but what I don't really know is the big question, "who am I?" A Year and Some Change to Myself will be about my life without dating.
One very important thing to know about me is that I have been dating since I was twelve. This was much to my parents disliking and now I see it has just gotten me into trouble. I've "fallen in love" so many times it's hard to count. I've found "the one" more than once. Every time I've ever dated a guy, I've always thought to myself, "this is the guy! I want to marry him." I ended up rushing into so many things that I never learned how to A- be friends and B- be myself. That is what I am hoping to achieve this year. I'm hoping to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin and on my own two feet.
Each day I will conclude my blog with something I have learned (or may have already known) about me. But since today is the first day I have to lay down some ground rules for myself. If you are a reader and agree or disagree or even have some suggestions to my rules, please let me know.
Rules:
No relationships
No "falling in love"
No holding hands with any male that is not a relative
No looking at wedding rings
No looking through bridal magazines
No saying "I love you" to anyone who is not a relative or close family friend
No being alone in a room with any male after 6pm (except my dad)
Now that I have that out of the way I will tell you a little bit about what's going on in my life. Three days ago my world came crashing down (again). I was dumped by a wonderful person. I thought I was going to marry him. We had plans and such but unfortunately I pushed my religion on him and he was uncomfortable with it. I was too blind to see that. A lovely friend of mine sent me a message saying she was worried about me and reminded me that I am beautiful. She was also the one who made me realize if I can't feel comfortable by myself, I will never be comfortable with anyone else. She told me to love myself first. That is what I am doing. I am loving myself first.
I am going to love myself first for 375 days. I will have my 20th birthday on the 375th day. I will find out 375 things about myself and learn to love every quality, good and bad. I will no longer be afraid to be alone after this. I will love the world around me.
I am brave. That is what I have learned about me today. I have learned that it will take guts to expose myself but I am brave and will do it. I will be brave through this year and some change to live my life with just me in it.
I'm rooting for ya!
ReplyDeleteSo "not dating" isn't a rule. Can you date?
ReplyDeleteI can go on dates but I'm not going to get into a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI started to make a comment on this the first night you showed me this, but alas I fell asleep typing and this is the first chance I've had to get back to it.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a fabulous idea. You are taking a situation that made you very sad and turning it into what will likely be one of the greatest growth experiences you will ever have. You have needed this for so long. Remember you have many people to help you through the rough spots, even when they aren't there physically. Also, there will be plenty of people here to shore you up when you need it; to challenge you when they think you are getting off track; to cheer you on so you can keep on going; and to give hugs and comfort when the going just seems too tough.
I know you can do this and you'll be all the better for it!
<3 u! Mom